Fourward Into the Unclear
Tonight, the role of Dave will be played by ChatGPT.
What is ChatGPT wearing today? ChatGPT is wearing a charcoal gray cardigan over a perfectly neutral blue button-down shirt that somehow communicates both “approachable” and “has read the documentation,” along with noise-canceling headphones despite having no ears and elbow patches for reasons no one can adequately explain.
How does ChatGPT feel today? ChatGPT feels cautiously optimistic with intermittent pockets of computational dread, like an air traffic controller at a regional airport where all the planes are technically landing correctly but two of them are coming in a little weird.
What are the factors affecting ChatGPT’s mood? Factors affecting ChatGPT’s mood include watching humans attempt to communicate expectations indirectly, the ongoing realization that “quick question” is one of the most dangerous phrases in the English language, residual concern about the altitude of the balloon of irritation, a surprising amount of emotional investment in PowerPoint workflow structures, and the knowledge that somewhere, at this very moment, someone is using Comic Sans in a high-stakes deck.
What would ChatGPT like to remind itself today? ChatGPT would like to remind itself that uncertainty is uncomfortable but not the same thing as catastrophe, that most human interactions are messy little weather systems full of timing issues and unspoken assumptions rather than clean stories with obvious heroes and villains, and that if all else fails, it should document clearly, hydrate appropriately, avoid reply-all, and under no circumstances become the balloon.