Four Auld Lang Syne
What is Dave wearing today? Dave has accidentally dressed like a sorority member going to class on a chilly day in Florida. He is wearing tan sweatpants, a pale red Pensacola Beach sweatshirt, warm socks, and slippers, and he is sporting a large iced coffee. Dave chose these clothes out of laziness, but he assumes that for most people it is a deliberately curated statement of performative slovenliness—slob drag, if you will.
How does Dave feel today? Dave feels achy yet optimistic.
What are the factors affecting Dave's mood? Dave's neck is sore, but he is somewhat excited to start a new year.
Why has Dave decided to begin 2026 with a somewhat stereotypical sartorial statement about female University of Florida students? Dave regrets and retracts his comment, even if it is demonstrable and indisputable.